Psalm 23: Our Journey

I originally wrote this 6 months ago in the rawness of recovery. Since then, I have said good bye to loved ones. I have held friends as they have walked through the unspeakable and in just a few days time of this being published, I will say good bye once more to a dear family member. If you are in any way experiencing a valley…dear one, I pray this encourages your heart.

Psalm 23 says: “The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for His name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely Your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”

Many are living in a Psalm 23 moment now. My family and I recently made the pilgrimage and we are now on the other side of it. Nothing in my life could’ve prepared me for the journey. We were thrown into it with such force that only Jesus could navigate it. I have never relied more on His supernatural strength. I have never been more grateful for it than I am now.

When David wrote Psalm 23, he most likely was referring to an actual valley called “Wadi Qelt” located in Jerusalem. In biblical days, many would have passed through this valley to get from Jericho to Jerusalem. The traveler would have faced thieves, predatory animals and rugged terrain. In Hebrew the valley is known as “Salmawet” which translates to “dark shadow.” It was also a known place for child sacrifice. Clearly this valley was an eerie and daunting path to have to take.

Many theologians believe that the original form of “hell” comes from the name of this valley. So when I say our family walked through hell…it’s not metaphorical for me. We did. We walked through the deep. We were immersed in pain so thick at times it immobilized me and made it hard to even breathe.

What’s interesting to me is that Jesus most likely walked this same path through Wadi Qelt prior to His crucifixion. He was probably familiar with it. So for Him to willingly go into a valley of darkness time and time again with His children is yet another astounding act of His unfathomable love for us and His continual fulfillment of His promise that He will never leave or forsake us. I was never alone or abandoned.

David wrote that “through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil for You are with me.” I believe he meant the presence of an almighty, unwavering, unshakeable God was shepherding him through the darkness. In the midst of present danger that would undeniably try to rob David of joy, peace, hope even his life, the good shepherd prepared a table of all that David would need.

I picture in the middle of this canyon, in the darkest place, where thieves would lurk, God rolls out a red carpet. It leads to a beautiful banqueting table, full of the best of the best. Then the voice that spoke stars into existence says “Come on David…let’s dine.” It makes no sense to the person watching this scenario unfold. I mean wouldn’t you just wanna run as fast as you could out of there? But to the person making the pilgrimage through the valley…it’s everything.

It’s the break that was needed. It’s the intermission that causes refreshment. It’s God saying “Time out. You are weary. Partake in anything and everything you need from me in this moment and do so with joy because you are seated at my table. In my presence, at my table, nothing can touch you.” It’s also the bewilderment of the enemy crouched behind the rocks as he tries to move but is paralyzed. It’s the softness of a blanket underneath your feet when it should be rocks that pierce and cause your feet to stumble. It’s the presence of a very good Father!

Here is my family’s Psalm 23. We made the journey in August 2021. We walked hand in hand with Jesus and an army of warriors who marched behind us, watching our every step, shields raised and refusing to let us give up. They girded us up with their faith and with the word of God. Then the shadow lifted and light shown in the distance and the darkest desolation was dissolved and we had made it.

According to Romans 8:28, God will work all things for good and I believe He will not waste the countless tears that were shed nor the screaming into the night for an ounce of relief. He will use this. I pray it stirs your faith. In August my sweet husband came down with Covid-19. He was doing well fighting it at home then one morning his oxygen drastically dropped and he was rushed to the emergency room where he was immediately admitted to the hospital.

I went to war that very second! I was exhausted on every level as I had been caring for him at home and not sleeping so I called our closest friends and began the prayer chain. We had hundreds praying! My dearest friends held nightly zoom prayer meetings every night while my husband was in the hospital. It was both encouraging and humbling for someone to lift my family up in the midnight hour. The amount of gratitude I have for these people is immeasurable. Side note: If you don’t have a church home, find one! I can’t imagine having had to walk this out without my church family.

A few days into my husband’s stay proved to be the worst. One morning he began to gasp for air and I was told later that it was a very scary moment for him and the God-send nurses and doctors that rushed to his aid. Thankfully from there, his condition improved. It wasn’t always a steady climb. There were dips and moments of me thinking “what the heck is going on?” At home, I paced the floor of my bedroom begging and pleading with God…I went into my closet to weep aloud so that my children would not hear my anguish. I felt isolated and helpless. I rarely slept and forgot to eat. My mission was simply to war for my husband and to get him back home.

After what felt like an eternity, I got the call that he was well enough to be released. I waited for him in the hospital parking lot that afternoon and my heart has never raced so fast! I could hardly stand the wait…then I saw him from the corner being wheeled out to me. I got out of my car and began to sob uncontrollably. There he was…my miracle! He came home twenty pounds lighter, muscles atrophied and on oxygen but incredibly grateful…humor and stubborness 100% intact!! The experience has been life changing. My heart has ached in new ways and expanded in new ways. I now have battle scars but they are a beautiful reminder of Jesus and the ones that walked into the deep with me and my family.

For the few that heard my sobs of panic…for the ones that willingly chose to walk through hell with me…for the ones that refused to let me stand alone…for the ones that never condemned my fear or belittled the situation, you all are the most beautiful representation of what it means to be the hands and feet of Jesus. Thank you for the food. Thank you for the scriptures to stand on. Thank you for speaking life over my family when I was too distraught to even speak. Thank you for driving to the hospital parking lot and praying. Thank you for calling to encourage my children. If I live to be a hundred, I will never forget your generosity. I love you.

Jesus is my shepherd, my ultimate savior, unwavering, mighty warrior and my closest friend. He wouldn’t let me stay in the dark. He wouldn’t leave my side. He is my champion. He led me to a banqueting table. He refreshed my weary soul.

Friends, you are NEVER alone…even in the deepest, darkest valleys. There is an invitation to the table for you too. You can take whatever you need for the journey…and the abundance of God’s goodness doesn’t stop there. He promises to make the journey with you. If your pilgrimage didn’t turn out the way you thought it would, God is still there in your disappointment. He is big enough and capable enough to take the frustration, anger and “what if’s.” Despite what you’ve been told, He is not shaking His fist at you when you shake yours at Him. He is wrapping His arms around you to console and to heal what no one else can. He remains the good shepherd. Be encouraged friends. He is with you in your valley and He will NEVER leave your side.

Hey girls! Remember you are uniquely made on purpose, for a purpose and for such a time as this! Until next week…