Mine And No

I have officially entered the realm of toddler world where the mantra is “Mine and No!” The rules are as follows:

1. Put up a fight at bedtime
2. Climb out of all “containment units”
3. Open every drawer and door
4. Maintain the highest level of energy from sun up to sun down
5. Keep the adults on their toes
6. If you want it, take it!

This is my life 24/7. I’ve now invested in a tent-canopy for babies; designed to keep brilliant babies (like mine) from crawling out of their cribs. I also have to use a padlock on the door now. Forget the days of running on a treadmill. I now run after my child and that’s my cardio!

There’s an age gap between my second youngest and my toddler. I’ve had many years to forget just how intense it can be trying to keep up with a two year old blazing ball of energy! Have you seen “The Incredibles” movie? Remember Jack-Jack?…yeah that’s my girl 100%!! She has endless energy and my morning coffee doesn’t stand a chance next to her supply of “get up and go!” I’m trying though. I am staying in the game! She is so much fun! Most days I’m giggling over what she just did or out of sheer joy that I have this season to repeat once more.

This morning as I played referee for her and my ten year old daughter, I received an epiphany. My toddler had taken the remote from my older daughter and said “mine!” When her sister tried to take it away from her she shouted “no!” These are quickly becoming her favorite words! As I corrected her, I was thinking about “mine” and “no” and how she effortlessly says them with such confidence.

I am gradually learning to be okay with saying no. For years I lived in bondage of having to say yes to everything out of fear that I would hurt someone if I didn’t. The word no definitely has a place in my life now. However I have a real problem with the word “mine.” It has long been drilled into my brain that “mine” equates to selfishness or stinginess…both of which I can’t stand. So, I’ve tried hard to steer completely away from anything that would qualify me as selfish. In the extremity of that thought process, I’ve been negligent towards myself. I’ve bypassed many wants and needs simply because I believed a lie that I was being selfish. I’ve missed out on many blessings and it took one of my biggest, God-sent blessings to turn the light bulb on for me! As I’ve said before, I learn lessons with my kiddos and today is no exception.

So where does the boundary of “desire” end and “selfishness” begin? I think, as is the case with most things, it is entirely a heart issue. This is the gauge in deciding “should I do it?” If the factors involved will not tarnish, diminish or skew the humility and good intentions of my heart then there’s a green light to say “mine.” If there’s a chance that the desire would create haughtiness within my heart or would somehow negatively affect someone I love, then it’s clear that I should not buy it or label it as mine.

This is my promise to myself: I will not beat myself up when I receive a gift. I will not change my mind last minute and put things back at the cash register because I’ve talked myself out of it. If I have a “green light” I will NOT allow guilt to creep in and steal my joy when I purchase something for myself. Anyone else need to make this promise to yourself too?

I have learned a valuable lesson today from my genius toddler! Mine and no are not bad words! Saying no is freeing and something I’m learning to embrace. Saying mine can actually be a healthy principle to learn…sometimes it means self-care.

Hey girls! Remember you are uniquely made on purpose, for a purpose and for such a time as this. Until next week…