Champion

Champion (verb)- to support the cause of, to defend.

Here’s something that only my husband has been aware of until now. I use to avoid (at all costs) being around other women especially at events because about twenty years ago, I let one bad apple ruin the whole bunch for me. I endured several instances of hateful, catty behavior that led to a severe tongue-lashing of the most awful and unnecessary word vomit I had ever experienced. It was well stated that my mere existence was not welcome or tolerated. This vile encounter set the stage for the next two decades of burrowing myself into a very deep hole that I am just now crawling out of.

Surprised? I have worked VERY HARD as a person in ministry to push myself outside of my comfort zone and familiarity. The road to this point has looked like, a smile to test the waters (are you friend or foe?) then a brief “how are you?” and maybe a hug. These are my baby steps to trusting again and I am proud of them! One step after another and now I have female friends again… true friends that I love dearly and I know that it’s reciprocated. I will testify to you that it hasn’t been in my own strength but this healing has been a process of much prayer and God opening my eyes to see people how He sees them.

A bully isn’t born with the traits of a bully. That person LEARNS over time by example and through trauma of how to survive. Often that looks like causing misery and chaos for someone else as a means of distraction from their own pain. It can be a defense mechanism: “I’ll hurt you before you get the chance to hurt me.” Life has taught them not to trust. How very sad…

Anytime my children have dealt with someone like this, I’ve said to them that there is something more deeply rooted than that person “picking” on them. So we pray for that individual and whatever it is that’s hurting them and causing them to feel the need to hurt others.

I’ve learned a lot by being a mom. Many days I’m learning lessons right there with my kids and finding that I need to take my own advice. Over the years, I’ve prayed for the woman that hurt me. I don’t expect an apology (although it would be welcomed.) I do however hope… sincerely hope that whatever inner pain she felt is now healed.

I don’t want to say it’s in a woman’s nature but for some reason, I have observed (in my time of estrangement) that women can be competitive and catty. There are things being communicated in body language that men have a blind eye to but women can pick up on with the fling of hair. I was born with “Resting B Face Syndrome.” Please don’t ask what the B stands for… you can figure it out. As it turns out, this is a thing! I often tell my friends to not assume that I am in a mood…it’s simply my face relaxed and unfortunately it looks like I am giving a death glare. The subject at hand is NOT relaxed facial muscles. If you unintentionally give a death glare too, I get you! I’m talking about knowingly expressing to the same sex with or without words that she is not appreciated or accepted and her friendship is not wanted.

My goodness, it would be easy to stick with the familiar and to be threatened by someone else, especially if you’re dealing with any insecurities… but there’s power in numbers. I’d rather surround myself with a good group of girls that I know I can call on than be left in the corner by myself. I’ve been by myself for most of my adult life and I’m trying to get back wasted time. My pastor’s wife says “we are better together.” It’s true! We are. God created community and it’s a beautiful thing!

This is my prayer. This is my testimony of where I’ve been and what I’ve learned:

May I always be my sister’s champion. May I always be considerate of her heart. May I always be aware of my own actions and words. May I represent Jesus in the best possible way to her. May I cheer her on. May I lift her up. May I never be threatened or intimidated by her success. May I always be there to hold her hands up whenever she feels the threat of defeat. May I always stand in the gap for her and pray for God’s best in her life without expecting anything in return. May I ALWAYS be my sister’s champion.

Hey girls! Remember you are uniquely made on purpose, for a purpose and for a such a time as this. Until next week…